The beauty myth unveiled

In 2016, I listened to a 40-minute sermon by the US pastor and theologian Tim Keller entitled: ‘The Girl Nobody Wanted’. It was anchored in the Old Testament passage Genesis 29:15-35, which centres on the love triangle between Jacob, Leah and Rachel. It was one of those rare occasions where I found myself unexpectedly moved to tears; Keller’s particular exposition and explanation of the biblical text helped me grasp the heart of God and better understand the nature of his unmerited grace and undeserved favour. 

Leah found herself in a loveless marriage, living in the shadow of her younger sister’s aesthetic beauty and highly desirable physical appearance. Leah was unseen, unheard, overlooked and overshadowed. She mistakenly believed (a belief likely shaped by the cultural, familial and societal norms of the day), that if she could only earn her husband’s love, affection and favour, then her life would finally be worth living. She would be somebody. 

In 2023, the global beauty and personal care industry generated over $625 billion worldwide. This is predicted to increase to $736 billion by 2028. Every day we are inundated with posts, ads and reviews telling us about particular skincare elixirs, cosmetic treatments or beauty tech products which will instantly solve the problems and imperfections our faces and bodies present us with. As a result, we think that if only we could erase that wrinkle, or accentuate this feature or tighten or tone that part of our body, then we’ll have the confidence, affirmation and admiration we dream of and long for.  

We are immersed daily in a narrative and culture in the West that tells us that once we achieve the right level of education, find the right job, attain the unattainable modern standards of aesthetic beauty, weigh exactly the right amount on the scales, discover the right relationship, have the right number of children, earn enough money and acquire financial security, buy the right property in exactly the right postcode, eat in certain establishments and afford particular luxuries and exotic holidays, then our lives will be full of fulfilment and purpose. Apparently, that is when we will live our best lives. Except I’m not so sure about the modern narrative we are sold. All that obsessive searching, striving, attaining and achieving tends to leave us feeling pretty tired, anxious, inadequate and empty.  

God’s narrative

Leah was unattractive, unwanted and ignored. Her father married her off fraudulently and deceptively; she was never the one her husband had wanted. She reached the end of herself after giving birth to four sons, even though she fulfilled the familial expectations and cultural obligations of the time. Leah decided to stop looking for attention, affection and affirmation from the men around her and turned to God instead. She gave God her heart, her worship and her praise regardless of whether her circumstances in life ever changed. This is when Leah was liberated. (Genesis 29:31-35)

I’m not so sure about the modern narrative we are sold

God dares to tell us a different story. A narrative not based on logic, reasoning, merit or worldly achievements. The truth is, God loves the unloved, the unwanted, the ignored and the unlovely. God chose Leah and not Rachel to be the one through whom he would work out his bigger plans for the world in the future. It was through the tribe and line of Judah, Leah’s son, that Jesus eventually entered. 

Throughout the Gospels, we read of Jesus scandalously associating and affiliating himself with people who knew how much they needed grace and who simply could not earn their way to God. The people that the religious leaders did not want, Jesus wanted. Prostitutes, tax collectors, widows, social outcasts, the powerless, the poor, the vulnerable, the sick, the needy, the traumatised, the lonely and the unloved. 

This is a God who chooses not as the world chooses, who sees not as the world sees, who acts not as the world acts, who loves not as the world loves. This is a God who does the unexpected and the unpredictable. He is a God who turns things upside down. This is a God of scandalous grace.

In a wave of emotion at the time, I sent that Tim Keller sermon to my sister and told her to have a listen and tell me what she thought. I now have an eight-year old niece called Leah. 

Katherine Chow is associate vicar at Holy Trinity Brompton in London. htb.org. Insta: @htbchurch