Parenting solo can be tough, but as Katherine Ryan shares, it can also be the most beautiful, precious relationship. Harriet Sanders explains why Katherine’s words touched her, and how they can point us to God, who turns all things for good.
In her new documentary Parental Guidance, Katherine Ryan, with her disarming honesty and razor sharp wit, recently shared her thoughts on parenting as a single mother to her daughter.
Her words, particularly about her firstborn and the distinct experience of raising a child when life was tough but in many ways simpler, resonated.
She spoke of a time “when I had nothing, I had everything”, a sentiment that might strike a chord with many single mothers, as it did with me.
In the earlier years of my journey as a single mother to my daughter, resources were scarce, and the future was uncertain. Yet, in the absence of material security, I discovered the strength and life that comes from true selfless love. A love that is able to be solely devoted to your child.
My daughter and I journeyed 10 years with only each other. I liken us to an island and it has often felt hard to imagine anyone joining that island.
Katherine’s expression of guilt over her first daughter having her “to herself” before her other children arrived is a feeling I understand. My daughter and I journeyed 10 years with only each other. I liken us to an island and it has often felt hard to imagine anyone joining that island.
But of course beauty comes from relationships, relationship with our maker and relationship with each other. It is often tough parenting alone but although there is a stigma to endure, God is able to step in and turn it for good.
The unique relationship between a single mother and her child is forged in the fires of struggles and victories. It’s a bond characterised by a love and survival against the odds.
As Katherine humorously yet poignantly pointed out, there’s a special kind of love that develops when it’s just the two of you against the world.
The unique relationship between a single mother and her child is forged in the fires of struggles and victories
As a Christian, I see this bond as a reflection of God’s unwavering love for us. It teaches us about sacrifice, about the depth of love that is costly and willing to give without expecting anything in return. This journey has deepened my faith, teaching me to trust in God’s plan and to find strength in his love.
Katherine’s musings on her guilt and her love for her children offer a universal message about the complexities of parenthood. Her sharing vulnerably shines a light on the guilt that many parents feel; a guilt that stems from our desire to be everything for our children.
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This extraordinary bond between a single mother and her daughter, marked by a mix of joy, challenges and unwavering love, is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. It’s a reminder that sometimes, when we think “we have nothing, we actually have everything” we need. In the laughter, tears, and quiet moments of connection, we find the essence of what it means to love and be loved unconditionally.
To fellow single mothers, and indeed, all parents navigating the complex journey of raising children, Katherine Ryan’s reflections offer honesty.
Potentially without realising it, I think Katherine articulates the paradox of life as a Christian - that when we are weak God is strong and that he works all things for good.
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