‘If you want to perpetuate the idea that all the presents beneath the tree were brought by Father Christmas, you are free to do so. Enjoy it. Your children may go along with it, or not, though if they decide he isn’t real it begs the question, will there still be presents next year?’ says Jenny Sanders.
For me, waking up in the early hours of Christmas Day, feeling the weight of a goodie-filled stocking and hearing the satisfying crackle of the contents, always fed into the grand anticipation of a magical childhood Christmas ahead. I could go back to sleep safe in the knowledge that Father Christmas had been.
It’s Christmas Day – how are you doing?
I don’t remember feeling devastated when the truth of who bought those presents was discovered. We learnt about St Nicholas at primary school, but Father Christmas steadfastly remained part of the whole festive tradition: the tree, the lights, the paper-chains, the carols, the turkey, the family gathering on Christmas Eve, the inevitable game of cousins’ hide and seek.
Once I became a parent, we discussed how we would or wouldn’t include him in our new-look Christmases.
Once I became a parent, we discussed how we would or wouldn’t include him in our new-look Christmases. We resolved firstly that we would never lie to our children. Father Christmas, the Easter bunny, the Tooth Fairy – where do you choose to draw the line? Perpetuating these fictions raises the prospect of tricky conversations down the road: if Father Christmas isn’t real, who we can’t see, what about Jesus? Did we lie about him too?
Our grown-and-flown children recall that we were clear that the man in red was a fictional figure.
Our grown-and-flown children recall that we were clear that the man in red was a fictional figure. At least one of them asked me outright. I replied, as wisely as I could at the time by batting the question back to them: ‘What do you think?’ The answer – whether fuelled by some better informed primary school contemporary or a flash of realisation: ‘I think it’s you and Dad.’ I nodded, but added in a conspiratorial whisper, ‘But it’s good fun anyway, isn’t it?’
Do you live on Christmas Street? If you do it could be a gift!
In a world where we’re increasingly challenged to parent well, ensuring a robust bridge of communication is always open with our children is as important as ever. Helping them navigate that obstacle-filled journey from childhood through adolescence to adulthood is fraught with challenges that would test the wisdom of Solomon. On that basis alone, I would recommend resisting making it harder for ourselves.
If you want to perpetuate the idea that all the presents beneath the tree were brought by Father Christmas, you are free to do so. Enjoy it. Your children may go along with it, or not, though if they decide he isn’t real it begs the question, will there still be presents next year?
Well-known Christians reflections on Christmas
My friends and family will tell you that I am a huge Christmas fan. December 1st is open season for Christmas music, decorations, ratcheting up the atmosphere, watching Christmas films (It’s A Wonderful Life; Home Alone; Miracle on 34th Street etc), trawling the garden centres to admire or express horror at the latest products, and touring the neighbourhood to see everyone else’s lights before scurrying home to munch hot mince pies.
Compulsory reading of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is also required for me and well worth reading at any time of year. The redemption of Ebenezer Scrooge is a morality tale firmly rooted in the themes of Christmas. It’s the Ghost of Christmas Present who is presented as a jolly Father Christmas character who repeats the invitation to, ‘Come in, and know me better, man!’
The characters are all fictional and yet, for me, bound up in the magic of Christmas. As one friend put it, keeping Jesus at the centre but including Father Christmas in our celebrations helps children and adults alike ‘develop an internal muscle for wonder.’ That’s so life-giving and demonstrates again the power of story without needing to be confused about reality. Father Christmas is no less real or important in our culture as Winnie-the-Pooh.
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