Leaning into Jesus when it feels hard this Christmas

Beyond the noise of this materialistic world, Christmas should be a day when our minds go back to Bethlehem, bringing a warmth to our hearts as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. But life in this broken world has a habit of reminding us of its harsh realities.

As the first weekend of December came, I got the Christmas decorations down from the loft. Looking through the boxes stirred memories of past years and was a reminder of those I’ve lost. December used to be my favourite month of the year, but now I put my energy into merely surviving it, and I’ve realised that’s okay.

The truth is, I’m still learning how to navigate the uncomfortable realities of Christmas, and how to deal with the loses. 

The truth is, I’m still learning how to navigate the uncomfortable realities of Christmas, and how to deal with the loses. I feel like I’ve been on autopilot for nearly a decade, joining in with the festivities but not fully embracing the frivolity.

Is this the secret to a happy Christmas this year?

In 2018, my maternal grandfather died and it was my first experience of death. Christmas arrived seven months later and although some time had past, as you can imagine the grief was still very raw. This loss taught me the true meaning of nostalgia and the sentimental longing for the past. But I was thankful that I would not be spending anytime at his house, an avoidance strategy made more sense to me, I’ve come to realise that grief is funny that way. When my step-grandfather died in 2022, I naively thought my reaction would be the same, but I went into a state of shock, it was quite some time before I shed my first tear for him. On both occasions, as a family we’ve rallied around to comfort each other, accepting our sadness and powering through.

Where is Christ in this year’s Christmas adverts?

Being an introvert, I tend to sit on the side lines on Christmas Day, people watching. As a single woman without children, I am not the focus of attention but unfortunately, it forces me to fixate upon what I don’t have, and this where my personal sadness lies. During these moments, my mind is a wash with romantic Christmas memories that trip me up, reminding me of the future hope I once had.

Like Iris in the Hollywood film, The Holiday I also understand feeling small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And I know how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside. I’ve gotten several new haircuts, did a lot of yoga and drunk many glasses of merlot with my girlfriends, but still go to bed every night going over every detail and wondering what I did to be in this situation or how I could possibly of misunderstood. Most of all, how I actually thought, for the briefest moment, I could be that happy?

I also recognise how difficult Christmas can be when coping with illness, specifically drug or alcohol addiction.

I also recognise how difficult Christmas can be when coping with illness, specifically drug or alcohol addiction. The secular world has made it impossible to celebrate without drinking, we lap up the free drinks at Christmas work parties and take advantage of supermarket offers. Not realising how difficult this could be for someone battling substance abuse or those running to alcohol or drugs to soothe their emotional pain. This time of year simply emphasises our problems or what we don’t have.

God desires more for us than burnout this Christmas

In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” It is biblical truth that justified how I felt and showed me how deep his love is for us, weather we’re facing heartbreak, grief or addiction. God finds us where we are and stands with us patiently, comforting us in our sorrow. So wherever you’re at this Christmas, just remember its okay, not to be okay, and because Jesus was born, we will always have hope.

For anyone struggling this Christmas, the Premier Lifeline is a confidential helpline, offering a listening ear to anyone in need. Volunteers provide an emotional and spiritual support 8 hours a day, 5 days a week on 0300 111 0101.