I learnt to trust God again after baby loss - and you can too

It’s a club no one asks to join, but on 1 May 2006, I became a member of the baby loss club when my first child was born still. Nine months later, I gave birth prematurely at 23 weeks, and we lost our baby girl, Faith, the next morning.

The pain and loneliness were overwhelming. I questioned, “Why me?” Despite doing everything right, we faced another devastating loss. Just hours after losing Faith, I told my husband, “I can’t go through another pregnancy again.”

I turned to online communities, hoping to find support, but instead felt more discouraged and hopeless after reading other women’s traumatic experiences.

I had no one to talk to apart from my husband. I turned to online communities, hoping to find support, but instead felt more discouraged and hopeless after reading other women’s traumatic experiences.

Yet, God blessed us with a son later that same year, and three years later, another son. I am forever grateful for my rainbow babies, but I knew this wasn’t the end of my story. After walking through my grief, I felt God calling me to use the comfort I had received to support other women facing the same heartbreak.

During both losses, I went through a personal journey of searching for answers, grieving, and reflecting. I wrote two books: Always a Mum: How I Survived My Baby Loss and Believe, a memoir of loss, hope, and learning to trust God again. But it wasn’t just about my own healing; I knew I had to help others.

On October 15, 2011, I made a courageous decision to share my story through a blog post titled You Are Not Alone.

On 15 October 2011, I made a courageous decision to share my story through a blog post titled You Are Not Alone. I didn’t know what to expect. But I knew I couldn’t stay silent. To my surprise, friends and family reached out, and soon they began referring others to me, asking if I could offer support. This was the beginning of my ministry, Always a Mum. Over the past thirteen years, I’ve learned three key lessons I want to share:

God is right there with us. In times of loss, it’s easy to feel abandoned by God. But through my own experience and listening to many other women, I know without a doubt that God loves us deeply. He is closer than we think, and he will never forsake us, even in our darkest moments.

Together we are stronger. I’ve seen firsthand how much it helps when women have a safe space to share their experiences. It reminds us we’re not alone and that there’s a community that genuinely cares. In 2021, I formed a support group with four women who had also experienced loss. Together, we created a space of healing and hope. One member shared: “This community has brought me peace and comfort. The support and honest conversations have deepened my relationship with God and helped me trust in His promises. Now, I’m waiting with hope and peace, and I finally feel at peace with myself.”

Our pain is never wasted. Looking back on the days I left the hospital without a baby, I remember wondering why I wasn’t a mum. But today, I can see how far God has brought me. He’s taken my deepest pain and turned it into a ministry that supports women on their own healing journeys. It brings me so much joy to be able to walk alongside others and make a meaningful difference in their lives.

If you find yourself in this painful reality, please know - you are not alone. There is hope, and there is healing. And God is right there with you, carrying you through it all.

Funke’s Treasured event in London is on Saturday 5 October. It is a gathering for women who face(ed) the painful journey of miscarriage, infertility, or baby loss. Get tickets here. 

 If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.