‘Every child I had the privilege of pouring into fuelled my desire to be a mother even more. So at the age of 36 and still single, I trusted that God would make a way to see my desire fulfilled,’ says Sue Gray.
I have always wanted to be a mother. I believe it is part of my original design. My journey to become a mother has been unconventional and not something I would have chosen for myself. In my high school yearbook, I predicted that I would be married with three children and have a home for vulnerable children by the time I was 27 years old.
God had other plans. Instead, he called me to mother the nations. I was presented with opportunities to nanny in Hawaii, serve in children’s homes in India, Nepal and Cambodia, volunteer at a local maternity hospital, serve a single mother with twin baby girls in Illinois, home-school children in USA, teach in a primary school in Cape Town, work as a postpartum doula in the UK, au pair for a family in Turkey and be a night nurse for triplets in Ireland.
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Every child I had the privilege of pouring into fuelled my desire to be a mother even more. So at the age of 36 and still single, I trusted that God would make a way to see my desire fulfilled. One day I was reading the book of Jeremiah. In Jeremiah 1:5, God tells Jeremiah: ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’
I started to pray for every unborn baby and thank God for his purpose in each child’s life.
Something broke inside of me, I started to pray for every unborn baby and thank God for his purpose in each child’s life. I was then reminded of two friends who had cared for newborn babies between birth and adoption and knew that this was what God was calling me to do next. I heard God say I want you to provide excellent care for the most vulnerable in society; babies.
The vision was there. The foundations had been laid. God was building my future. I was going to become a mother. I could not wait. And wait I did. 38 weeks exactly. It was a gestation of sorts, and then the day came for a baby boy to be placed in my care as a temporary foster carer. Three weeks later, a newborn baby girl was welcomed into my family. I affectionately called them my twins. I was on a steep learning curve and loving it. This is what I was made to do, this is who I was made to be. But it was temporary. After six months of loving my precious babies, they were placed in their forever homes. I was left heartbroken. Crying myself to sleep. I didn’t know how I would recover.
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Two weeks later, I moved to a children’s home and became a mother to six babies for three months. This was during Covid, a time when so many people felt isolated. It is true, that God sets the lonely in families, and with that, he provides a sense of belonging and purpose. I ended up fostering one of the babies for 15 months, after which I was exhausted. I needed a break.
A year later, in Ireland, I asked God to speak to me afresh, and he did.
A year later, in Ireland, I asked God to speak to me afresh, and he did. I heard him say, ’One final push and your promise will be born.’ I returned to my home Cape Town and renewed my papers to continue fostering. Two weeks later in October 2022 a three-day-old baby boy with delicate features, a tiny nose and porcelain skin, was placed in my care, a week later I rushed him to the hospital where he had an emergency life-saving operation. Four months later he had a life-changing operation.
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During this time God spoke to me through the story of Moses. How Moses was born into slavery, that his parents saw that he was no ordinary child, that they did all that they could to hide him, but after three months they placed him in a watery grave where Pharaoh’s daughter found him, fostered and then adopted him. He is taken from slavery and placed in luxury; an actual palace, where all of his needs are met. Moses was the first abandoned baby, the first child in foster care and the first adopted child!
I heard the Lord invite me to trust him and take the next step in pursuing adoption. This too, was no ordinary child, and the social workers recognised that, and so I was able to adopt Levi.
One final push and my promise was born, my son through adoption. My desire was fulfilled.
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