Are we too afraid of death? Here’s what Christians should remember

“Of course, we all think we’re not really going to die,” said two of my friends, quite independently and within an hour of each other. How strange and somehow contradictory we humans are; the one thing we can be sure of is the very thing we try to pretend doesn’t exist!

Perhaps it’s because death appears to be all about loss. Leaving behind a life we’ve loved; family, career, home, pastimes… the list goes on. We can’t bear to think about leaving it all, so we block it from our minds, preferring to “carry on regardless”, pretending either that it’s not real, or comforting ourselves that we have plenty of time before we face it.

I have a theory. Perhaps we fear death – or the thought of it – because we don’t really understand life? Life – eternal – in all its glory! We tend to think about it as the unknown, which of course, in many ways, it is. We think of eternal life as something we move into when we die and “go to heaven”, but Jesus says that those who receive his message and believe in God “have eternal life” (John 5:24). Present tense.

Perhaps we fear death – or the thought of it – because we don’t really understand life?

It’s not something “other” or separate that replaces all we know, but a fulfilment of all we love, taking it to dimensions we can’t even begin to imagine. So maybe we should think in terms of our human, earthly life as simply a season in the full spectrum of our eternal existence? When my sister became ill with the disease that would take her earthly life, I became acutely aware of the closeness of that “other” dimension in a new way. Rather than being a sort of alien usurper that would steal all we hold dear, I came to see it as having dual citizenship. I have a British passport and one for the Kingdom of God; one day I’ll simply drop the British one and keep going with the real deal!

So is it wrong to be afraid of death? Being afraid of dying is probably one of the most common and understandable experiences of humanity. It’s the ultimate unknown, after all and everything in us is wired to avoid it. Even Jesus’ disciples had their moments. Remember when they were in the boat with him during the storm? “Don’t you care that we’re about to die?” How could they be afraid, we wonder, with Jesus right there with them? Good question! We might challenge ourselves with the same one.

Maybe we should think in terms of our human, earthly life as simply a season in the full spectrum of our eternal existence?

It’s important to be real about this awkward subject, to accept death as a reality – hopefully at a far off time – and to be ready. Why? Because it takes the power fear has over us and puts us in the driving seat. How?! At a practical level, by having everything in order so that whoever has to clear up after us has as easy a task as possible. I can heartily recommend it! Having everything in order has the wonderful side effect of clearing your mind, allowing you to simply get on with life knowing that those things are in place. It’s like an expectant woman having her “hospital bag” packed ready to be grabbed when her waters break!

And by living in a way so that when it is our turn to take that mysterious journey, we have no regrets. No “I wish I’d …….” or, perhaps worse, “if only I hadn’t ……” but leaving a legacy beyond money that leaves those we love with true riches.

You can buy Marjie Sutton’s book Living to Finish Well here.