‘When you’re on the receiving end of a miracle, it’s very odd’

Sheyi Martins-Allen is a singer and musician. Attending an academic school in West London (where she still lives), good grades were of the utmost importance, but it was the music department that kindled her passion: “I’d make up my own songs, and write during breaks and lunchtimes…I knew that’s what I wanted to do.” She went on to study history and politics at SOAS in central London, and then found her way into tutoring. It enabled her to focus on music.

Soon she met her husband, Simon. Having their daughter, Isabella in 2018, was easy: “we didn’t do any trying, she just came”. In 2020, thoughts turned to having another child, but the pandemic brought such uncertainty they waited. Plus their tutoring business had skyrocketed: “we were working insane hours”.

Facing secondary infertility

Sheyi and Simon started trying for another baby in January 2021. By March, Sheyi was already nervous, conscious of the secondary infertility her parents had suffered: “my panic and anxiety was to do with [their] experience”. After Sheyi was born, her parents had struggled to have another child. Embarking on IVF they conceived a daughter; she was carried to term, but tragically died during her birth. As a result, Sheyi had grown up as an only child, and longed to give her own daughter a sibling.

A scan showed no major issues; and they kept trying: “everyone said: ‘if you just relax, it will be fine’, which is a phrase I absolutely hate”. They did go on holiday, leaving Isabella with her grandparents: “that was the time I really thought I’d get pregnant”.

Another scan confirmed she had a fibroid: “I thought: ‘This is the key. If they take out this fibroid, then we’ll be fine.’” But doctors found others – one of which had caused a fallopian tube to become blocked. She was also diagnosed with ‘Asherman syndrome’ (scarring on her uterus). Several procedures followed. Capable and used to being in control, Sheyi was determined to solve the problem: “I wasn’t consulting God at all…[I was] on the track of, ‘this doctor will fix it’, then, [when that didn’t happen]: ‘let’s just go to the next doctor’.” 

Journey with IVF

By early 2022, it was taking its mental toll. Six months later Sheyi and Simon reluctantly started IVF. Sheyi began talking to God more: “I can’t believe we’re doing IVF, God. I need this to be the fix.” The initial stage went well – they had four embryos: “that’s four tries for a baby”, she thought. The two-week wait after implantation was “a special form of mental torture”, while knowing every detail convinced her it would work. The first cycle failed: “the day we found out, I was sobbing, inconsolable…it was awful”. 

In August, as their doctor discussed implanting the next embryo, God suddenly spoke to her: “It was like someone took me out of the [consulting] room and…said to me: ‘We are not using any of this, none of it.’ It was a really strong thing, [it was] so weird.” 

Sheyi thought: “Great, this means I’m going to get pregnant before [it happens].” But she didn’t. The cycle was cancelled as she’d ovulated prematurely; what God said rang true. They pressed on, moving to another clinic, and used a different IVF protocol: “We were really hopeful for this [third] cycle. It had everything: the lining was great, we had a new clinic, this was another top-quality embryo. And my relationship with God was getting better; [I thought], ‘This is definitely going to work.’”

On New Year’s Eve they got the news it hadn’t. But, unlike the previous time, both her and Simon had a sense of peace: “We’d each been praying a lot about it. I had a very strong sense that we would have a son – it was a very clear vision from God that he was absolutely coming.” She was yet to tell Simon, but as they chatted one evening, he said: “I’ve had this word that we’re gonna have a son.” Sheyi couldn’t believe it: “Our visions matched completely.” 

Hearing from God

They paused and went on holiday to Thailand. There they booked a boat trip to a remote island, but were delayed leaving by two latecomers. Suddenly, God spoke to Sheyi again, just as he had in the consulting room: “I felt God say: ‘You know how you’re leaving later than everyone else? You’re still going to get to the same destination, and you’ll still enjoy exactly the same things’…it was absolutely crystal clear.”

Back from their break they had their fourth embryo implanted, but felt ambivalent: “It hasn’t worked twice so we’re thinking, ‘Is it gonna work?’ And it doesn’t work again.” 

Sheyi was determined to find a way through. She explored adoption and was encouraged by the stories she heard. One woman had prayed for her: “She told me, ‘I think you’re gonna have a baby naturally.’ It was not what I wanted to hear.” Sheyi was also recommended to a different doctor who, when reviewing her notes, said: “I don’t think you need IVF…you should just have a few surgeries – let’s try and fix the area and see.”

It was exasperating. However, she took the doctor’s advice and had specialist surgery. Even so, IVF seemed to be their only hope. They ‘banked’ some more embryos, but weren’t ready to restart the process. Without IVF regimenting their sex life, they could be more spontaneous for a while.

Receiving a miracle and facing fear

While visiting Simon’s parents soon after, Sheyi was on edge. The next day there was a gathering for his sister’s friends (who sadly died from cancer, aged 29). It would be full of families: “this party [would be] Trigger Central…loads of people with two children – absolute nightmare”. Anticipating the agony it would bring her, she came up with a plan: “I need really good bottles of wine and gin, because the only way I’m gonna get through this is to drink.” 

That night God spoke to her in a dream: “You don’t drink like that without taking a pregnancy test.” Taking a test was the last thing Sheyi wanted to do, but she always had one at the bottom of her travel bag. The next morning, she took it and set it aside. 

That night God spoke to her in a dream: “You don’t drink like that without taking a pregnancy test.”

Returning later, she picked it up. Squinting at it, she froze. She found Simon, and handed him the test: “Can you see something because I think I can?” Simon examined it: “Yes, I can!” Sheyi was frantic: “Go to Sainsbury’s immediately…buy more tests – just clear them out!”

Checking the test again, she snapped out of her panic. The test was out of date; it must be wrong. But as she googled it, she learned that the vague result could still be accurate. Simon returned with ten pregnancy tests. Sheyi wasn’t taking any chances so tried them all; every single one gave a positive result. She was pregnant. But how? Recent scans had shown her egg had been released from her left ovary: “In my head I’d always discounted that side, because that’s the tube that’s blocked, even though doctors have told me your eggs can cross over to the right.” Her lining too, was a ‘six’ at best: “Every IVF doctor will tell you that really it needs to be over ‘seven’ to conceive.” But God had different plans; he was the one in control.

“When you’re on the receiving end of a miracle, it’s very odd,” Sheyi reflects. “My middle name is Hannah – I’ve read [that Bible] story multiple times…[miracles] always happen to other people – we were just in shock.”

“And then the real test came.” As they flew back from holiday a few weeks later, Sheyi started to bleed heavily: “That was probably one of the worst experiences of my life”, she says. “I was trapped on a plane [and] couldn’t go anywhere.” She was hysterical: “It felt like it was all [over]…I just started praying.”

Their scan the next morning revealed a ‘subchorionic haematoma’: “It’s all fine…the heartbeat’s there, the baby’s still there”, said the doctor. They burst into tears: “You realise how fragile your faith can be sometimes, [even] when everything has been confirmed.”

It was a huge relief. But Sheyi still felt anxious – would her son be delivered safely? Would he live? These questions hung over her. One of Sheyi’s first memories was being told her sister wouldn’t be coming home from hospital. It had formed the fearful belief in her heart that ‘babies die’. But Sheyi’s journey through secondary infertility had changed her, and renewed her faith. It had also forced her to grieve her sister’s death fully, and to confront her own fears.

When their son arrived, they named him Noah. As well as immense joy, he brings an important sense of ‘correction’. Not only for her, Simon and Isabella, but for her parents too. Noah was born by caesarean section, moments after midnight on Easter Sunday: “I remember the surgeon saying as she pulled him out: ‘this is a very special baby’.”

Find out more about Sheyi and her new song ‘Changes’ @sheyimartinsallen