This month I’m reading…A Crown that Lasts: You are not your label By Demi-Leigh Tebow

This month I’m reading… 

A Crown that Lasts: You are not your label By Demi-Leigh Tebow (978-1400348398, Thomas Nelson)  

Demi is a speaker, entrepreneur and influencer who was Miss South Africa, then crowned Miss Universe. She is married to former American footballer Tim Tebow; they met when her late sister Franje was invited to a ‘Night to Shine’ event by Tim Tebow through his charity – the Tim Tebow Foundation. Due to fragile health Franje was unable to attend, but Demi and Tim spoke on the phone at length and their romance soon blossomed. 

Demi shares really openly about her struggles in this book – including her sister’s death and also surviving a horrific carjacking. But it is her identity struggle that is behind the title; she is very candid about how her whole being felt shattered when she had to give her Miss Universe crown away. Through her own walk to rediscover her identity and purpose, and having travelled around the world (30+ countries to date), she has seen firsthand how so many Christian women have similar struggles and seeks to encourage them. 

How did someone from a small town in South Africa, nicknamed ‘Slow Town’, which you say taught you a “less-is-more” approach to beauty, end up as a beauty queen?

Growing up in Sedgefield, South Africa, pageantry wasn’t always a part of my upbringing. The town primarily focused on improving the quality of life for the people who lived there (ie slower pace, organic, homegrown foods, keeping the mountains and white sand beaches clean etc). I loved this aspect of Sedgefield because, yes, it taught me “less-is-more”! But…every now and then I would step outside the natural beauty of my hometown to enter small, local pageants to win a voucher for the shopping mall or to get my hair done. It was something that my mom and I shared a love for, and eventually watching the Miss South Africa pageant every year became a tradition for us. I grew to love the tiaras, dresses and glamour. 

As I got older, I truly looked up to the women crowned as they were well-respected leaders who wanted to make an impact on their country. I didn’t always know that I wanted to be ‘Miss South Africa’, but I knew I wanted to be a ‘Miss South Africa’ type of woman. Winning the title and representing my home country on the international stage was a dream come true. Going on to win the title of Miss Universe wasn’t just a personal victory, but it felt like a victory for every young girl or boy from a small town in South Africa who had big dreams!

I would like to think that I was able to hold the great honour of representing my country as Miss Universe because of my upbringing, not in spite of it. A less-is-more way of life begs the question: “Who am I when I am stripped of the best makeup, designer purses and tallest heels?” My stepmom once said, “If I have to get wrinkles, I’m going to make sure they’re in the right places – laugh lines around the eyes, surprise on my forehead and peace around the corners of my mouth.” Her wise words often remind me that true, lasting beauty stems from the small, seemingly slow aspects of life.

Let’s go back to your childhood. Your parents divorced when you were little, and your dad remarried – on your tenth birthday you found out you were going to be a big sister. When Franje was born you discovered she would never be able to do the things you had hoped to do with her. As you navigated this as a child, how did it affect your faith journey? 

At four months old, my baby sister Franje was diagnosed with a brain dysgenesis – which means that the normal development of the white and grey matter of the brain had been disrupted. Simply put, Franje had about ten per cent of a normal cerebellum, and the rest of her brain didn’t develop normally, either. Franje’s condition was never identified by any of the prenatal tests, so her diagnosis came as a complete shock to our family. 

For any parent, sibling, relative or caretaker of someone with severe special needs, you understand the questions and the challenges that come with the diagnosis. The way I dealt with the situation was by doing my best not to cause any additional work for my parents. I stuck to my corner, did my own thing and never really asked for help. I didn’t become distant; I just became reserved. My faith was rattled to say the least. All the unanswered questions made me question God’s kindness. Why would he let this happen?!? 

A passage that has brought me comfort (and breakthrough) is 1 Corinthians 13:12, where Paul writes, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” Paul reminds us that our current understanding of life and God’s plan is limited. However, God fully knows us, and one day it will all make sense. Pain and heartache are real, but so is God’s presence, grace and peace. 

You say “we often think that moments need to be perfect to be valuable” and say we can miss so much because of this. How have you learned to live present in each moment in your own life?

It’s so easy to get caught up in the should haves or could haves. A life lesson I’ve had to learn the hard way is never to allow the pursuit of perfection to trump being present (as if we can even achieve perfection in the first place).  

Being present means being aware of your surroundings, engaging with others around you, listening intently, putting your phone away, offering a helping hand when needed etc. It means noticing the cute little storefronts, the blooming flowers and the humour in something simple. It means not getting all bent out of shape if you didn’t sweep up every single dog hair before guests arrive at the house! That’s why I love our welcome rug on our front porch: “I hope you like dog hair.” It’s a great physical reminder for me every time I walk in and out the front door. The present moment is too precious to miss. 

One of my favourite themes in Ecclesiastes is joy! I know Ecclesiastes is supposed to be the “everything is meaningfulness” book, but have you ever noticed that the notion to ‘enjoy’ life occurs seven times?! It seems clear that, despite not being able to make sense of everything that happens in our world, God wants us to enjoy the gifts he’s given us. That’s the perspective I try to live with. Things won’t always work out exactly as I planned, but there’s still joy to be found in the moment. Life is an ongoing adventure to discover beauty in all things.

Demi-Leigh Tebow on: The books that have changed my life

The Women of the Bible Speak: The wisdom of 16 women and their lessons for today by Shannon Bream

As a news journalist, Shannon turns full theologian in this one! I love how she profiles each of these women and the significant role they played in God’s redemptive plan.

Shaken: Discovering your true identity in the midst of life’s storms by Tim Tebow

I know I’m a little biased, but this book seriously did impact me when I read it! There have been times in my life when my faith was shaken, leaving me with unanswered questions, but reading Tim’s book reassured me of the truth.

Atomic Habits: An easy and proven way to build good habits and break bad ones by James Clear

I’m a creature of habit and this book has helped me establish and maintain healthy habits.