GREAT SEXPECTATIONS: I was dumped, and now I can’t move on

In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ we answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us an email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here Dr Kathrine McAleese speaks to a woman who can’t get over a break-up.

Dear Woman Alive,

I recently dated a guy for a year though we probably should have broken up after six months, when I realised he wasn’t looking for commitment, but I totally fell for him. I know I became obsessed, but he made my life come into technicolour. We had so much fun together, I really fancied him, and I was just happy to be with him all the time. He was a new Christian, and I feel like I dumbed down my faith a bit with him, because his values were not exactly the same as mine, but he was so charismatic (in character) and generous. it felt like a whirlwind romance. When we eventually split up five months ago, I was devastated. The problem is I am still devastated. I know he is seeing someone else now, and I feel like a stalker, trying to find out about her, comparing myself to her, and looking for clues about his life on his social media. I know I need to move on, but I can’t do it. I feel depressed, and I can’t get on with my life. I am 32, and he was four years younger than me, which makes me paranoid about my age and ageing. I daydream about him waking up and wanting to marry me, but I know its never going to happen. I feel cross with God that I am still single, so I am not really praying about it, although I tried to fast for a day, and prayed that God would bring him back.