Women get a lot of advice from dating influencers - and it isn't *all* rubbish

I wouldn’t call myself a dating guru - the crown is firmly Lauren Windle’s - but having hit the scene hard this year, as a way of doing extensive research in response to a fairly disastrous experience, I have gathered some thoughts. And I was curious to know if they tally up with these dating influencers’ ideas. 

First up: SheraSeven. Jeepers-flipping-creepers. Shera is an influencer with a cult-like following, whose whole vibe is to encourage women to "lock down" a man and then encourage them to pay all their bills. Lol. She’s nonchalantly mentioned that if you put your menstrual blood in a man’s food he will fall in love with you. Call me old fashioned, but a carbonara usually works just fine without it. 

I have been blown away by the difference it makes to walk into a bar thinking that the guy on the other side is lucky to be in the same room as you.

Money is an interesting one, however. I take some pride (sorry JC) in being financially independent, renting my own flat and in the words of Miley, being able to buy myself flowers… if I’m feeling dramatic. However. I will always assume that if we go 50/50 on the first date that the guy isn’t interested, which isn’t actually always the case. Personally I think there’s something nicely intentional about saying, "I’ve had such a good time that I’m happy to pick up your two glasses of Picpoul, and hope that this means there are more in the future." But I will always reach for my wallet to be polite, and happily split if it’s a no go from my end.  

Next on the cards: Kait Warman. She’s an LA based influencer who preaches a lot about confidence, or GODFIDENCE!!! if you will. Now while I automatically get the ick when people write in capitals and throw exclamation marks around like they’re trying to hit something, she has a point. I have been blown away by the difference it makes to walk into a bar thinking that the guy on the other side is lucky to be in the same room as you. And all the better if this confidence doesn’t come from your slinky new dress, but from believing that you are wholly known and loved by Christ. 

His argument is that rejection will sting less if people spurn you for doing stuff that’s consistent with your character.

Matthew Hussey. If I haven’t seen this man in a cheesy rom-com where he gives out dating advice but falls for someone who’s impervious to it, then I’ve just made up the plot of a film that I will be selling to Netflix. Ah Americans, they flipping love a flipchart. But you know what, he’s got a point about being authentic. His argument is that rejection will sting less if people spurn you for doing stuff that’s consistent with your character, and I would argue that it will actually hit more because it’s your genuine self on the line, but I agree it’s still worth doing. At the end of the day, we’ve all pretended to like sailing for someone, and until you’re stuck on a dinghy in the depths of December, crying from wind chill, you’ll realise the value of being true to yourself.  

Finally, I wanted to address the idea of manifesting, which is largely rubbish, but not entirely. Do I believe that if I will it enough, Prince Charming will drop through my skylight *looks up to check* nope. But, do I believe that if you meditate on biblical truths and know how deeply you are loved, that you will believe you’re worthy of being loved by someone else? 100%. So, walk in confidence, know you’re loved and believe that "whom the Son sets free, is free indeed". Fingers crossed that means free from sailing, too.