Where is Christ in this year's Christmas adverts?

It’s tiiiiiiiiiiime… Calm down Mariah - it’s not quite, but we’re past the horror-show that was the American election *cough* I mean Halloween, and I for one am ready for a different kind of decorations. Plus, there’s been a recent snowfall of Christmas ads, so I wondered - do any have a message that could even vaguely pass as Christian?

First up, Waitrose with the big-bucks whodunnit.

First up, Waitrose with the big-bucks whodunnit. I dread to think how much they paid Matthew McFadden to grit his teeth and get through a panto-esque performance as a detective trying to solve the case of the missing pudding. That said, it’s pretty well acted, directed and quite funny. But this is only part one. Unless part two switches the Hollywood stars for a big sparkler over a stable, it’s not screaming Christmas.

The commercial that adland normally holds its breath for is John Lewis. Historically this has harnessed themes of selfless giving, friendship across communities and hope. All of which I’m sure Jesus would sign off. However, this year they’ve changed agencies, and with it, tone. Festive fun is forgotten in the wake of a rather earnest three-parter about their history, a jumper and something else meh. Where’s the joy?

Festive fun is forgotten in the wake of a rather earnest three-parter about their history, a jumper and something else meh. Where’s the joy?

Lego dropped a chaotic ad about a brick-made feline character called ‘Cataclaws’ which ran about the place with no plot and gave me anxiety from start to finish. Morrisons did a musical number with a lot of animated oven gloves singing a hit from Bugsy Malone alongside 26 Morrisons workers. One line stood out to me “You’re gonna be remembered for the things you say and do. You give a little love and it all comes back to you.” Which is actually a nice reminder for us to act well as Christians. Even if our incentive is out of gratitude for what Christ has done for us, rather than what we can get in return.

Aldi have just had their ninth year of Kevin the Carrot, and you know what, fair play to them. Is it to do with Jesus? No. Is it reminiscent of Veggie Tales? Kinda. Plus, anyone who’s animated a vegetable for almost a decade and written a script in rhyme deserves a pat on the back. Very and TK Maxx have both rerun the same ad from last year, which I guess is pretty sustainable. I’ll be interested to see how that affects their numbers, but appreciate the good stewarding of resources.

Sainsburys brought in the BFG, for an extended pun on having a ‘big’ Christmas. (Eye roll). M&S food went a bit meta with an ad starring Dawn French and Dawn French the Christmas fairy. Sure. Their clothing and home ad ‘Christmas starts here’ got nearer to the real message with a soundtrack that repeats the line “I believe in miracles.” Not magic, miracles. Nice.

Boots’s spot was an unsubtle denigration of men, which doesn’t sit well with the Christian belief of the sexes being created equal. Santa was portrayed as a snoring layabout, and Mrs Claus was putting in a shift, in a workshop staffed by women and trans people. I’m not going into what constitues a woman in this article, but I’m also not sure that a Christmas ad for a toiletries brand is the place to explore it either.

If I had the right client and the right budget, I’d try to make an ad that reflects the greatest story in history. It’s all there. Quirky characters. Unusual setting. Life-changing message. A plot that subverts our expectations with generosity, humility and hope. The ingredients are all present in The Nativity. It’s a shame no one’s thought to look there. Now, who needs to sell some myrrh?