What the Olympics taught me about female friendship

Today we don’t need to look far to see evidence of women being pitted against one another. From Meghan Markle versus Kate Middleton to the everyday mum guilt topics and ‘mean girls’ type dramas we so often see on the TV, it’s easy to buy into the narrative that female friendship is competitive in a negative way. I’ve been reflecting on friendship a lot recently and do believe that as Christian women we know a ‘better way’, and beautiful examples come from many different places. 

These past few weeks at the Olympics we’ve seen some wonderful examples of female friendship and solidarity. 

These past few weeks at the Olympics we’ve seen some wonderful examples of female friendship and solidarity. Women have cheered one another on both within and between teams, but then an interaction on social media about friends and direct competitors Simone Biles and Rebeca Andrade caught my eye. The post was marvelling at how strange it was that these two women could both want to win Gold, but also want the other to succeed and that they could see past the competition and remain friends. On the surface it seemed positive, but the underlying message was that they ‘should’ be at odds with one another, perpetuating a negative image of female friendship and even undermining healthy competition. The incredible truth of course though is that two things can both be true, and Simone showed beautifully that having a secure view of herself and her abilities, for which she had trained so hard, enabled her to authentically celebrate Rebeca’s success.

In turning to the Bible, Ruth and Naomi are an incredible example of enduring and committed friendship. 

In turning to the Bible, Ruth and Naomi are an incredible example of enduring and committed friendship. They were brought together in troubling times in the scriptures, hot off the heels of Judges, a terrible time for women. Then despite the familial ties being broken with the loss of the men who connected them, Ruth chose Naomi, declaring “where you go, I will go, your people will be my people and your God, my God” (Ruth 1:16). Years of small kindnesses had built up, resulting in a connection of care and loyalty. They could have chosen to walk away from one another, and no one would have blamed them. The beauty of their friendship was that it survived the cultural traditions of the time. They were no longer obliged to be connected but they chose friendship and connection anyway and both flourished. Ruth’s great demonstration of friendship saw her grafted into the lineage of Jesus, another champion of friendship. 

Jesus was a man who valued friendship on every level. He first appointed 12 men to share his life and ministry with and then went on in John 15:9-14 to describe what true friendship means to him; “greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends”. He spoke with affection about his friends Mary, Martha and Lazarus, affirming Mary’s desire to learn and grieving openly about Lazarus when he died. He also knew disappointment in his friendships so can empathise with us when we feel let down. We can only imagine the pain in knowing that two of his best friends would abandon him when he needed them the most, Peter in denying him and Judas in betraying him. These men did ultimately experience the consequences of their actions because Jesus is of course not without boundaries, but even in this he showed extraordinary grace and mercy, loving them regardless and showing that ‘a friend loves at all times’ (Proverbs 17:17).

There are many beautiful examples of friendship in the Bible pointing us to how God intended it to be. He meant for these mutual connections to strengthen and empower us, building a sustainable community where no one is in need (Acts 4:34). Ruth and Naomi gave us a strong example of loyalty and care. Jesus always points us to grace and mercy, and through the Olympics we have a beautiful reminder to cheer one another on, celebrating each another as precious image bearers of God.