Should Christian singles take inspiration from Love is Blind?

This article does not contain any spoilers for the latest season of Love is Blind UK. You’re welcome.

Most people love a good love story, the Bible is one long one and has been adapted for TV in numerous spin offs. If Song of Solomon was made, it might have an adult rating. In my own love story I met my husband volunteering for earthquake disaster relief but it wasn’t until a decade later that we got married having been friends first. So what about reality TV romance, can it be real?

When Love is Blind (a dating show where participants  date ‘blindly’ and potentially legally marry) arrived with a Japanese version (the first was the American series launched in 2020) I confess that I binge watched the whole thing. I then continued on with the American, Brazilian and Swedish versions to compare notes. I convinced myself it was cultural research.

Love is Blind is closer the the biblical idea of courtship than other dating shows.

As an avid list maker I wrote a list of the pros and cons of watching:

PROS:

Love is Blind is closer to the biblical idea of courtship than other dating shows. It encourages the idea of getting to know someone through conversation and emotional intimacy rather than a superficial attraction or instant chemistry. In this show the end goal is marriage rather than endless dating.  Participants ultimately search for shared values, future visions and emotional intimacy.

It can potentially be a good witness to healthy dating. In the USA version some Christians went on the show  (Brittany and Kenneth in the USA season 6). Where contestants hold different values such as no sex before marriage they can be a strong contrast to the swipe, click and cancel culture of one night stands.

It is a microcosms of the dating journey. In dating, people often want to show their best side. The intense situation that the participants are put in often reveals how they might respond under pressure.

In dating, people often want to show their best side. The intense situation that the participants are put in often reveals how they might respond under pressure.

It can be a way to to evaluate your own behaviour. We can project ourselves into stories and that is why we become so engaged but we can also learn from others reactions and mistakes.

CONS:

It could encourage temptation. The holiday section that happens after the ‘proposal’ puts all participants in a honeymoon type situation in a holiday villa usually in a sunny hot location and after they live together. While this is quite common it is not strictly biblical.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16)

A biblical principle is that we become what we behold. While the contestants are enjoying the sun there can be a lot of near nudity or innuendo.  We have been given choice about what we feed ourselves with visually. While this may not be a struggle for all people to watch for others it could feed lust.

And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell (Matthew 18:9)

Reality TV is often not reality. While there have been some sucessful marriages from the show the focus is entertainment. People are not avatars and sometimes these kinds of shows can encourage a lack of empathy and judgementalism as we watch them.

In LIB real and sensitive topics such as fertility issues from endometriosis and raw grief of a father’s death are part of the narrative and I found myself wondering whether the contestants vulnerability is exploited… or as others in the show itself suggested that some people were looking for fame rather than a spouse? Even with marriage counselling, a Symbis marriage prep facilitation and a Defining the Relationship course; only with the depth of covenant did my husband and I truly get to know each other. In an exposing show like this, my question would be, is it truly the safe space to find an honest and long lasting love?

Ultimately we need to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us in our entertainment choices. Reality TV is not by default wrong. It can entertain but also convict us.

Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways. (Psalm 119:36-37).