Russell Brand’s alleged crimes are horrific – I’m desperately sad but given what boys were taught about sex, I’m not surprised

When I grew up American Pie was huge. The awkward, coming of age film about a group of scamps who make a pact to lose their virginity on prom night. The task was simple; bag and bang a girl. The ends justified the means, even if it meant making moves on drunk girls or lying and manipulating. What are boys like eh?

It sounds unlikely now but at the time, I never heard anyone say this was problematic. Against a backdrop of 00s UK, it was hilarious and relatable. Boys wanted to get laid and they did whatever they could to achieve that goal. While girls’ job was to hold out for as long as possible. The behaviours in the film were commonplace, laughed about and celebrated – particularly if they ended in sexual success.

We’ve taught boys to believe that they are not in control of their desires.

This is the environment in which both I, and Russell Brand, grew up - admittedly he was a few years ahead of me. We’ve taught boys that a woman who says “no” a hundred times, and then finally says “yes” after hours of cajoling is consenting. But she’s not. We’ve taught boys to think that women want them to be pushy, arrogant and demanding. We’ve taught boys to believe that they are not in control of their desires and that if women dress like that – what do they expect?

When this is how we were raised, of course men with an unhealthy relationship with themselves and others around them, will allow that to spill over into their sexual interactions with devastating effects. Russell Brand is alleged to have raped and sexually assaulted four women, one who was just 16 at the time. In a statement on his social media he vehemently denied these claims and said all his sexual interactions were consensual. As yet there hasn’t been a criminal investigation, although police are now appealing for people to come forward.

Consent should be taught to Christian men and women alongside Jesus’ teaching on saving sex for marriage.

The world and the conversation is changing, but we’re not there yet. And church leaders would be naïve to believe that what happens in the world doesn’t happen in the Church. Everyone must be educated about what it means to have enthusiastic, informed and sober consent before any physical interaction with another person. This should be taught to Christian men and women alongside Jesus’ teaching on saving sex for marriage. By keeping silent on these issues we allow it to fester in the darkness when Christ and we as the Church, can do so much more to help when it’s brought into the light.