People brand Christian match making service as ‘offensive’ and ‘cultish’ for asking women if they are virgins on application form

Timothy Gordon is a podcaster who claims to bring a “Catholic perspective to the secular world”. The conservative Catholic has been criticised for his pro-patriarchal position and he was fired from the US secondary school where he taught religion for posting on social media that Black Lives Matter was a terrorist organisation. 

Now he’s turned his hand to a Catholic matchmaking service and people are massively unimpressed. In a video, released on Twitter in June, the controversial influencer announced that he would be setting up a dating service with fellow Catholic and disgraced-teacher Will Knowland (who was fired for a lecture on patriarchy).

The service costs $1,000 for men (that’s about £780), although women can sign up for free.

In a joint message they said: “Over the years of writing, teaching, podcasting and practicing my Catholic faith, I’ve had hundreds of young men and women who are striving towards virtue reach out because they’re being failed by the families, communities and churches.” They explained that there wasn’t enough support for those looking for love, dating and marriage and said that they had set up a service offering “proper, discerning matchmaking”. They vowed to “dig deep” to bring discernment back to the process for people who were serious about finding a soulmate.

The service costs $1,000 for men (that’s about £780), although women can sign up for free and, if accepted onto the programme, you would get a 45minute Zoom call in which the pair and their wives get to know you. If you aren’t accepted into their cohort, men are still charged $50 for the vetting process.

I imagine myself and a lot of my friends wouldn’t make the grade for their “discernment process”, but that’s because I’ve seen the application form. They are looking for men aged 18-40 and women aged 18-30. So that already counts me out. They are willing to accept Christian (non-Catholic) women, but they do want to know your feelings about conversion. Men must outline their financial situation, before allowing it to take a big hit when they pay their bill. Women must confirm if they want to be a stay at home wife and mother and if they want to live under their husband’s patriarchy (these are both the expected standard for the service). The form also asks applicants to declare if they are a virgin and if they’re not to confirm if they have had more than three sexual partners.

The form asks applicants to declare if they are a virgin and if they’re not to confirm if they have had more than three sexual partners.

Given the messages that Tim Gordon preaches on his platforms, none of this should come as a surprise. But I felt deeply uncomfortable seeing it on paper. The idea that people have filled out this form (some even dropping a grand in the process) to have themselves and their sexual history assessed by another person doesn’t feel like God to me. It doesn’t allow for the beautiful growth and change that God can inspire in us. It doesn’t reflect his kindness, gentleness and grace.

My hope is that everyone will know, regardless of their body count or financial means, that they are a valued and valuable member of a church family and that they could bring incredible things to a relationship. When we commit to a new way of living, repent and hand our lives to Christ, we are made new. Jesus certainly isn’t caught up on our past, so no one else should be either.

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