My husband and I gave up alcohol, and this is what happened

When I told the internet I was quitting alcohol, everyone had an opinion. My inbox quickly filled with evangelists for a sober life telling me I was going to love it. “You’ll never go back!” one message read boldly.

I hadn’t meant to give up alcohol. But my husband had reflected that our celebration-filled summer was one with more drinking than normal. As an American from the Bible Belt, he grew up with a more religious take on alcohol than I did, which has consistently led him to assess his relationship with drinking. So these Southern roots combined with a boozy summer led him to throw out one night “do you want to give up alcohol for a bit?”  Presuming he meant waving goodbye to our sacred 5pm G+Ts for just a few weeks I agreed without thought, happy to support him.

I’ve never been a huge drinker, but we’ve become regular small drinkers.

I’ve never been a huge drinker, but we’ve become regular small drinkers. On the days when my adrenaline is sky high from juggling the hats of working motherhood, I love pouring a whisky as I sink into the sofa. While alcohol was always something with boundaries, I have no qualms about that relaxation drink. So I wasn’t convinced when he later clarified that he’d meant a month… ‘maybe longer.’

If nothing else, it would help the constant Tetris game of sticking to our food budget right? Or maybe our sleep was about to change as everyone promised me. We laughed, not quite sure how drinking less could get our three-year-old to sleep in her own bed.

Our first week passed without ceremony. We wanted to feel something virtuous, but alas, we were just living life, dry.

Our first week passed without ceremony. We wanted to feel something virtuous, but alas, we were just living life, dry. In our second week, still unaware of any magical benefits, we felt the habitual pull of a drink. I had a tough day parenting - the kind where you want to crumple at the end, but you’re also too wired to actually sleep so you crash in an overstimulated daze. For the first time I said; “this is going to be hard.” With the lack of my normal rhythm to compensate for it, I felt good for nothing and went to bed early. When I woke up more refreshed, I reflected that maybe, in a roundabout way, this was the first win. Had alcohol had been allowing me to push my body too far? Had removing it forced me to rest sooner?

A few weeks in, we realised a replacement ‘fun’ drink would really help. To avoid losing the newfound budget benefits of sobriety, we embarked on brewing kombucha. Within a week, we had a bubbly, non alcoholic alternative waiting for us which helped us reflect that perhaps, some of our drinking had not been actual desire for alcohol, but rather for the moment.

One thing I couldn’t get out of my head were the health statistics people threw around when I started. They suggested that even lower levels of drinking could have significant risks, and I started digging in. While I didn’t want to jump onto a new fad, I did want to know without fear as my driver, how to responsibly steward my body both in how I felt, and from the experts. I want to have the energy and health to be the person I’m called to be, in motherhood, and for the people around me.

So many things can creep into our lives as habits and routines without us consciously choosing them. In the midst of parenthood, assessing how our choices are affecting us can slip down the priority list so easily. Cutting down on alcohol had felt like an unneeded and unwanted endeavor to me in this phase of life but if it could have a negative effect even in a roundabout way - I wanted a shift.

I’ve spent time reading research and thinking mindfully about how I’m building my life, what habits I’ve adopted, and how I can better steward my body. I plan to go back to my gin and tonics, eventually, the DMs were wrong, but it will be a more limited habit. We’ll keep our kombucha brewing, enjoy the food budget win, but also enjoy the drinks when we really want to, at a slower pace. This is been a needed check in on the truest self care and stewardship in my life, and could be applied to many things beyond alcohol. I was running away from a bandwagon and kept my drinking almost as a protest of everyone’s new virtuous judgement of alcohol, but from our own exploration, we want a new rhythm to our habit, to be the best stewards of who God made us to be.