‘If I spend every waking moment focused on the life I might have after God heals me, there is the very real possibility that I will miss out on everything he has planned for me right here and now in the midst of my circumstances,’ says Danielle Finch.
The subject of healing is one that comes up frequently in church discussions. As we live in a fallen world, I suspect many of us have ailments that we long to be healed of. I don’t know about you, but I fully believe that God has the power to heal today. Yet, he hasn’t healed me. This paradox is one that I constantly find myself navigating. Just one comment from a well-meaning person can start me questioning my stance all over again.
Let me rewind just a minute. Until my late teens, I would have classed myself as a fairly healthy individual. I wasn’t athletic, but my body worked. It was then that I started to experience chronic, unrelenting pain in my joints. As well as severe fatigue and multiple digestive issues. Eight years of doctor’s appointments and investigations were met with,
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“The tests show that nothing is wrong.”
“It’s anxiety.”
“You’re a woman, women get pain. You will have to learn to deal with it.”
It was only when I was pregnant with my daughter at age 27 that a physiotherapist noticed that my hip wasn’t in place.
I was devastated and truth be told, started to question my sanity. It was only when I was pregnant with my daughter at age 27 that a physiotherapist noticed that my hip wasn’t in place. She couldn’t believe that I had been walking around. I remember bursting into tears, someone believed me. This appointment eventually led to a diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. EDS is a connective tissue disorder that causes your collagen to become weak and stretchy. Collagen is found everywhere in your body which means EDS can cause a vast array of symptoms. For me, it means joint subluxations, pain, fatigue, arthritis, digestive issues that have led to the point of me needing a stoma as well as causing me to suffer from anxiety.
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For as long as I can remember, I have desperately desired for the Lord to heal me. I am eternally grateful to have a supportive church family who constantly hold me up in prayer. I long to be able to run after my children rather than wheel behind them and maybe one day I will. But I have come to realise that if I spend every waking moment focused on the life I might have after God heals me, there is the very real possibility that I will miss out on everything he has planned for me right here and now in the midst of my circumstances. If I spend all of my limited energy on trying every well-meaning suggestion, I will have nothing left for building God’s kingdom.
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I have come to a lasting knowledge that my God hasn’t forgotten me. Even in the depths of my despair, he was right there beside me.
I have come to a lasting knowledge that my God hasn’t forgotten me. Even in the depths of my despair, he was right there beside me. I have come to realise that I don’t need to try harder, to pray harder, to have more faith. He is fully able to heal me, but for whatever reason, he hasn’t. That doesn’t mean he won’t. But for now, he is allowing these circumstances in my life. As I have started to rest in this knowledge, I have seen the incredible way he has been able to bless me and work through me. Time and time again he has shown his faithfulness. I’ve been able to access a home, a car and even a wheelchair that are perfectly adapted for my needs, this can only be God’s provision. I have been able to relate to people who don’t know Christ and show them that God is for them in their own trials. I could go on for days sharing the ways I have seen him at work in my life.
I do not know the circumstances that you find yourself in. But as you continue to lift those things up in prayer, please know that God is for you. He has a purpose for you in the midst of your suffering. These things will not last forever, for our hope is in eternity.
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4.
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