I gave my kidney to save my Christian boyfriend’s life, then he cheated on me, I thought he’d be different

When I met Johnny* he was already going through peritoneal dialysis. His kidney function was below five per cent so he was in desperate need of a transplant. We started dating at the beginning of 2013, and even though our relationship was still new, I felt called to get tested to see if we were a match. I thought of waiting until we were married but then decided against holding off, what if the worst happened to him before we even got down the aisle?

I loved Johnny’s outgoing personality and sense of humour, but also the fact that he was a Christian. I thought that our relationship would be good for me spiritually and that he could help and guide me to grow with God. By the end of 2013, we knew that I was a donor match for Johnny and I had agreed that he could have one of my kidneys. There was no doubt in my mind that it was the right thing to do.

We had the surgery and the procedure was successful. There’s was plenty of aftercare and treatment, but Johnny was out of the woods and we each had one good kidney.

I thought that our relationship would be good for me spiritually and that he could help and guide me to grow with God.

Six or seven months after the surgery Johnny and his mates went off to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. On his way home from the long weekend, he turned up at my house unannounced. The made the surprise visit in order to tell me that he had cheated on me.

I felt so hurt and betrayed. It came completely out of the blue and it was an even bigger blow as he was such a religious man. I never saw it coming, especially after all we’d been through together. I didn’t forgive him straight away. I didn’t know how and I needed time to heal. I remember him getting annoyed at me, saying: “God’s already forgiven me so why is it taking you so long?” He put pressure on me to forgive him and move on.

He did apologise, but he never mentioned the kidney. I could tell he felt guilty about it and he I could tell he regretted it. I decided to give the relationship another chance. But we kept arguing. We were in a long distance relationship and three months after he confessed to the cheating, we were having a heated phone call when he broke up with me.

He said: “If God wants us to be a couple, he’ll bring us back together in the end.” He then hung up before I could reply and blocked my phone number and all my social media accounts.

Halfway through the conversation he said he wanted to stop talking so he could read the Bible. I told him no, I wanted to finish the conversation and move past the problem. He said: “If God wants us to be a couple, he’ll bring us back together in the end.” He then hung up before I could reply and blocked my phone number and all my social media accounts.

That was my lowest point. I couldn’t stop crying and I called him back but it went straight to voicemail. I was in total shock. I couldn’t believe he had dropped me like that, like I was nothing, like I hadn’t sacrificed a piece of myself for him. It was so easy for him to let me go.

I picked myself back up and over the following weeks and months, my faith helped me work through what happened to find forgiveness. I had my family, who guided me and helped me heal. In time I realised that if Johnny could treat me like that and drop me so suddenly, while calling himself a Christian man, he was not the one for me. He did message again around the one year anniversary of the kidney transplant and asked if we could have coffee. I didn’t want to waste any more time on him so I just didn’t reply.

Regardless of how our relationship turned out, I still don’t regret what I did. Giving someone a second chance at life is so valuable, and I can’t control what he chooses to do with it. I can’t take it back and we’re now both doing well, so that’s all that matters.

If you have been the victim of infidelity or spiritual abuse please seek help from someone you trust or contact Premier Lifeline for support.

*Names have been changed for anonymity.