Here are three factors to consider if you feel tempted by January’s ‘Divorce Day’

There’s a nasty rumor afoot delineating poor January as ‘Divorce Month’.

 While the divorce rate in the UK has been in decline since the 1970s (along with marriage rates), it wouldn’t be surprising if divorce lawyers did see an upswing in filings this time of year.

Couples, post Christmas, have been bare-knuckling it through the holiday crunch; stressors like striving to create homemade meal perfection, providing perfect presents for kids who have everything, and angst ridden travel arrangements, could find them entering the new year feeling like they need new (single) lives.  

My family had an overall low key Christmas due to an impending move and home renovations, but what was meant to serve as a stress reliever for Mom and Dad, left some of our little ones feeling moody and ungrateful on Christmas morning.

My last minute executive decision to purchase a potted monkey puzzle tree that would perfectly fit our limited accomodation

My last minute executive decision to purchase a potted monkey puzzle tree that would perfectly fit our limited accomodation, then find it’s forever home outside, in our garden, inadvertantly caused WWIII when I showed my husband the £100 price tag (those things get REALLY big, you know! Totally worth it)! The final nail was finding out after a few hours of the dreaded New Years Eve eve grocery shop for the Hogmonay festivities, that we would be moving out on New Years Eve and New Years Day. There is no emoji appropriate for the level of conniption that brought out in yours truly! Now, a few days into the New Year, post move and in surroundings totally unexpected to me only a few weeks ago, I need the following encouragement on how not to be tempted by the proverbial ‘Divorce Day,’ as much as you may. 

I went through dark years with drugs, divorce and my daughter’s suicide attempt - then I found Jesus

1) Our oathes. Each year, millions of people make New Years resolutions. A resolution, though not as strong as an oath, is like an aspirsational promise for the year to come. Many of us commit loads of energy each new year; making lists, seeking direction and self coaching toward success. You can’t control how your spouse chooses to show up for your marriage, but you can choose to set your mind like a flint toward healthy marital habits.

Our Christian marriage counselor advises, how we’re in the habit of thinking about our marriages perpetuates more of the same sort of thinking. 

For instance, practice positive marriage self-talk. Our Christian marriage counselor advises, how we’re in the habit of thinking about our marriages perpetuates more of the same sort of thinking. Overwhelmingly negative thoughts create more negative thoughts. Make a conscious effort to think more positively than negatively about your spouse. Be at least as persistent in the oath you swore between God and man as you are with your New Year’s resolutions. 

Is divorce okay for Christians?

2) Our prayers. Every day I make it a positive habit to pray the Lord’s Prayer intentionally. One short phrase never ceases to convict me; “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” No pressure! Of all the things the Lord could have mentioned when he taught the disciples to pray, this one measures up right after the physical nourishment necessary for human survival! How can we mantain healthy marriages without continuously offering forgiveness? It’s as likely as surviving without eating. We need to forgive our spouses just as much as we need God’s own forgiveness. So take a bite of humble pie and forgive generously, sustaining your marriage depends on it. 

GREAT SEXPECTATIONS: I have fallen out of love with my husband, when is it ok to get a divorce?

3) Our sacrifices. Don’t let your marriage be tainted by the unrealistic (although inexpilicably addictive) depictions of marriage and relationships in romantic holiday movies. Netflix may offer ‘Hot Frosty’ but the Bible gave us the Book of Hosea. Marriage was created to be a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love for his Church. One of those parties starts out woefully imperfect and the other, impossibly faithful. God is best demonstrated as redeemer, by redemption requiring circumstances. Don’t cut and run on your marriage before he who is faithful has the chance to do his good thing. Be convicted, God will get glory in your marriage his way, instead of finagling Plan B like Sarah and Abraham with Hagar and Ishmael. It may be a huge sacrifice (the time between God’s promise and Isaac’s birth was 14 years), but if we can sacrifice for a slimmer shape or a fatter bank account, how much more can we sacrifice for our marriages?