In our fortnightly column ‘Great Sexpectations’ we answer your questions on sex, faith and intimacy. Drop us an email on womanalive@premier.org.uk and ask us anything. Here, we answer someone who wants to know what being a born again virgin means.
Dear Woman Alive,
I became a Christian in my late twenties, but before that I was very promiscuous. I took my cue from Sex in the City, and thought sleeping with different men made me a strong independent woman. What I found is that I just felt more and more empty. When I came to faith after a friend invited me to church, I felt such shame from my past, even though I only received love and grace from those in the church. I wished I had lived differently, especially when I learnt how God views sex, that it is so much deeper than just the physical act. I heard a testimony of someone who said she was a ‘born again virgin’. What is this, and is it something I can pray for? Thanks for any guidance.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for writing in. Should you pray to be a ‘born again virgin’? Well, in a sense you are already. When we come to Jesus we are made new. It says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 ‘Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new.’
When we come to Jesus we are made new.
Jesus talks about the importance of being ‘born again’ in John 3:3 ‘Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”
So when we give our lives to Jesus, asking him to forgive us for all that we have done wrong, he wipes the slate clean. It is gone. Forgiven.
However your body still shows the signs that you are no longer a virgin, as your hymen will have been torn. When women have sex their hymen, which is the thin, fleshy tissue across part of the opening of you vagina, can be stretched.
Your body still shows the signs that you are no longer a virgin, as your hymen will have been torn.
The hymen can’t grow back once it’s been stretched open, but vaginal sex isn’t the only thing that can open your hymen. You can also stretch your hymen by using tampons, riding a bicycle, a horse, or doing gymnastics.
There have been stories of women who have become Christians, and although they were not virgins BC (before Christ), when they married and had sex, their hymens were restored, and they bled after having intercourse.
You may ask why would God do this? I don’t know, but I know he can. I think the person you write about sharing their testimony might have been referring to this miraculous healing of her hymen, therefore making her physically as if she was still a virgin.
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The God we believe in raises the dead, he heals the sick and opens blind eyes, if he wants to restore a hymen, he can. What is important to note is that don’t need your hymen restored to be forgiven. If you have any doubts of God’s great love for you, ask him to show you that he knows and loves you. He may restore your hymen if you ask, but he may not. His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55) but his love and forgiveness is the same, yesterday today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)
Our Great Sexpectations column is written by a number of different contributors who make up the Woman Alive panel. If you have a question for us, email: womanalive@premier.org,uk
If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.
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