GREAT SEXPECTATIONS I am in the ‘Sandwich Generation’ and drowning

Dear Woman Alive,

I am a mum of two, one has just started university, and the other is finishing school, so doing A levels this year. I worry about the one at uni as she doesn’t seem to have found any friends yet, and is quite lonely, and I worry if the younger one will pass any exams as he always seems to be gaming not studying. My dad has just been diagnosed with Parkinsons, and although it is in the early stages, he and my mum are needing lots of support. I feel torn and exhausted, and constantly trying to spin plates to keep life going. My husband is supportive, but has a stressful job as a surgeon, and long shifts. I know God knew I would come into this season, but I feel as if I am drowning, and God seems far away. Can you give any advice on how to survive this season well?

Dear Reader,

You are carrying so much right now - sandwiched between the demands of caring for aging parents, whilst supporting your children. If you’re feeling pulled in every direction, emotionally drained, and unsure how to keep going-you’re not alone. So many of the mothers I work with describe this exact experience.

READ MORE: Rest is important, especially for mums - we’re parents but we’re God’s children first

That overwhelming, drowning sensation? It’s like a flashing engine light, a signal from your mind and body that you’re expecting too much of yourself. We experience psychological stress when the demands we, or life, places on us, outweighs the resources we have available to cope. We have two options, reduce the demands or increase the resources.

We have two options, reduce the demands or increase the resources.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to be everything everyone demands of us—rescuing, fixing, endlessly giving. But you are human, not God. Stay grounded in your humanity. Be realistic about what you can provide to others, and don’t forget to care for yourself too. The demands in this season may feel endless, but your capacity is not. As a mother, daughter, and wife, you feel responsible for everyone’s well-being. But remember: God holds your family together - not you. Your role is to love, support, and pray for your children - but you cannot control the outcomes.

READ MORE: God may be calling you to be ‘unuseful’, your identity isn’t in your busyness

The Bible tells us in Matthew 6: ‘Do not worry about tomorrow’, perhaps because God knew how we would use worry as a safety strategy to try to plan, prepare and protect against hard things happening. But worry is draining and rarely changes outcomes. However, problem-solving does. Learn to spot the difference, problem solving asks:

1. What’s under my control right now?

2. What’s the next practical step I can take?

3. What does ‘good enough’ look like here?

If you have exhausted practical problem solving and are still losing time thinking and talking about it, you are now worrying. Label it as such, ‘I am having a worrying thought’, then try to redirect your attention to something useful in the moment.

Make a conscious choice to hand your children’s social and educational success to God and keep handing it over. 

Make a conscious choice to hand your children’s social and educational success to God and keep handing it over. You have laid a strong foundation; trust that. Just as God lets us grow through our struggles and mistakes, allow your children to find their way through theirs. Research shows that feeling loved and having access to support - not perfection - creates healthy, thriving adults.

Jesus knew seasons like this would come. In Matthew 11:28, he says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Right now, you need rest—not just physical rest, but soul-rest. Instead of pushing through, what if you paused and listened? Have grace for yourself. Learn to take moments to pause, practice breathing deeply, and search for opportunities to do less. The more you replenish yourself, the more strength you’ll have to navigate the ups and downs ahead.

READ MORE: Do Christians glorify busyness instead of rest?

When we are overwhelmed, our brain shifts into survival mode, prioritising immediate concerns over deeper connections - including our connection with God. If you feel spiritually distant, know that this is a typical response to stress, not a reflection of your faith. God’s closeness to you has not changed.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Surround yourself with a strong support team - trusted friends, wise encouragers and a therapist if needed. If stress is affecting your rest, your relationships, your ability to find meaning - consider therapy. Seeking help is not a sign of failure; it’s an act of strength.

Let me reassure you: You were never meant to carry this alone, and you do not have to do this season in your own strength.

Our Great Sexpectations column is written by a number of different contributors who make up the Woman Alive panel. If you have a question for us, email: womanalive@premier.org.uk

If any of these issues have affected you, you can call Premier Lifeline for support. Premier Lifeline is a national, confidential helpline offering a listening ear, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective. If you would like someone to talk with and pray for you, call Premier Lifeline on 0300 111 0101.