God prepared me to meet my husband

I had always wanted to be married but for long periods of time was single, despite my best efforts in using Christian dating companies both online and offline. Throughout my journey people said clichés such as: ‘It’s in God’s timing,’ but that can be difficult to hear when you’ve be waiting for many years.

Also as a single person, I experienced loneliness and it’s not always easy to fit into church groups. I am thankful though for the time when I was single as it definitely gave me more time and freedom to travel including for study, work and missions abroad.

As I got into my early thirtiess, the desire for a husband only became stronger

As I got into my early thirtiess, the desire for a husband only became stronger and so I decided to really pursue hearing from God for the breakthrough. I spent nearly a year taking different times out to pray and fast and really seek the Lord. It was during this period that God did a healing work in me emotionally and mentally. In my own life I had low self-worth and self-esteem.

Psychologists and counsellors have long understood that if you don’t feel good enough to be in a normal, healthy relationship then you will likely settle for less. That was the main reason I had been in wrong relationships where there was verbal abuse, control and manipulation. I realised I attracted those kinds of people. Part of the healing process was renewing my mind to replace lies I had been believing with the truth of God’s word and renouncing negative expectations that I had due to past experiences. By changing my thought patterns it enabled me to make right decisions and be led by the Spirit, not negative expectations or lies from the enemy.

Psychologists and counsellors have long understood that if you don’t feel good enough to be in a normal, healthy relationship then you will likely settle for less.

Throughout that period I also spent time researching to see if there were any spiritual blockages that were hindering me from finding my mate. Previously I had words spoken over me that I was ugly, that no one would want to marry me. I believed it had acted as a curse over my life in the sense of struggling to get a husband. Proverbs 18:21 says: ‘The power of life and death is in the tongue and they that love it, shall eat the fruit thereof.’ It was through healing ministry Ellel UK that I first learnt about the curses from a biblical perspective and was able to pray to break them off my life.

Part of my journey was building my faith as it is written; ‘All things are possible to those who believe.’ Faith is active so in order to get my heart in full agreement with God’s promise I needed to take action. What that looked like was meditating on the scripture God had given me: ‘It is not good for man to be alone, I have made a helpmate suitable for him’ on a daily basis. The Hebrew word for meditate literally means to speak or mutter. There are several verses in the Old Testament which state that if we meditate on the Word of God day and night then we will prosper.

Also in Romans 10:17: ‘Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.’ It can take a while for our heart to be fully persuaded of God’s promises especially as renewing our mind is a process. In Romans 12:2 Paul says we need to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The Greek word for renewal is anakainósis and according to Strong’s concordance it means to complete a process, a new development achieved by God’s power.

On a practical level I also messaged three people a week on a couple of dating websites. Other things that helped build my faith were prophetic acts including wearing a ring on my wedding ring finger and looking at wedding dresses. It helped me to visualise in my mind getting married so I could believe in my heart it was real until it happened. As it says in Hebrews 11:1: ‘Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.’

God spoke to me at one point that before the end of that year I was going to meet my husband. At the end of November 2017 I met him on a Christian dating website! We messaged back and forth several times and God confirmed by giving me a peace that he was my mate. As we were in N. Ireland and England at the time we travelled back and forth and I felt led by God to move to England. God provided me with a job and accommodation with a lady from church and things moved swiftly so we were married within one year and two months from when we first started dating.

It was amazing that God answered my prayer and I finally had a peace about this relationship. The most significant thing that happened was I drew closer to God and was able to hear from him more clearly. Ultimately, the relationship is not just me and my husband but God as well. We have learnt over time ‘a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.’