Galentine’s Day is a reminder of how God brought together the editor and deputy editor of Woman Alive magazine!

One Sunday earlier this year, I was flicking through The Telegraph’s Stella magazine as I ate my breakfast. I laughed out loud when I read an article by Bryony Gordon entitled ‘I can’t be the only one who has close friends I’ve never met’. She called it the unexpected twist of lockdown, and asserted that meeting people in real life is not the only way to forge special bonds. I immediately took a photo of the article, and sent it to Tola-Doll Fisher, the editor of this magazine. She is one of my closest friends now – we message on WhatsApp nearly every day, even though we have not actually hung out together in real life.

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OK, that’s not entirely true. We did initially meet at a party in 2019 (although Doll now reminds me it was actually a worship night in someone’s home) and we have a good mutual friend. But we only talked at the beginning of the event, and didn’t share contact details or meet again after. It was through Instagram after lockdown that our friendship flourished. Perhaps because we are both writers, or because we have a shared love of fashion – although I am in no way as cool as Doll (I could not get away with denim hot pants and silver ankle boots).

When I asked Doll about our meeting, she said: “I think our post-‘party’ friendship started when we connected on Instagram and I replied to one of your posts about someone in your family needing prayer. I told you I was praying and sent a Bible verse and that opened a floodgate of communication and deepening friendship.”

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Our shared faith, and desire to know God and trust his goodness and character whatever our current circumstances might be, has been a point of connection for our online friendship. Our mutual encouragement to remember who God is has been such a gift to both of us.

You don’t need to see a friend face to face to encourage them. Sending a text, or a link to something life-giving and hope-filled, can make a real difference.

You don’t need to see a friend face to face to encourage them. Sending a text, or a link to something life-giving and hope-filled, can make a real difference. It’s not a physical hug – which is currently restricted anyway - but it’s close!

I have been hearing a lot about the Netflix documentary, The Social Dilemma, which came out in January 2020. It talks of the horrors of social media, and its addictive qualities. I totally relate to those, as I am a little too attached to my phone. However there are positive sides to social media. As I’ve explained, it has enabled my friendship with Doll to flourish in a time when we are all isolated and not able to go to in-person social gatherings.

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Doll is no stranger to making friends online. One of her best friends is a girl called Alicia from the US. Doll explains how she met her: “We met online in a chat room when we were about 13 and began as email and snail mail pen pals. We stayed in touch on and off over the years and, as social media developed, got back in touch properly over Facebook. I met her for the first time in 2016 when I happened to be in LA. It was amazing how much we had in common as adults.”

In our WhatsApp voice messages Doll and I have covered everything, bar a solution to world peace. We have talked about our families, our character types, things we struggle with and, to be honest, quite a lot of minutes have been given over to discussing the men we have loved, and how we recovered from broken hearts.

In the Stella article, Bryony Gordon talks about her online friend as a ‘frolleague’ – a colleague who has become a friend.

In the Stella article, Bryony Gordon talks about her online friend as a ‘frolleague’ – a colleague who has become a friend. You could call me and Doll ‘frolleagues’, but it started the other way round. We began our relationship as online friends, and now have become colleagues as since 2021 I became deputy editor of Woman Alive.

I have been learning about the enneagram recently – a test based on a theory that describes personality in terms of nine types (for those who know, I think I am a nine). I don’t know what Doll comes out as, but I find it interesting that our friendship works so well without us meeting face to face. We are both very proactive, act immediately and get things done fast. Doll laughs at how she can suggest something to me, and I have already actioned it by the time I have finished listening to her message. Perhaps because we are journalists and used to asking questions, we have found out lots about each other quickly, and have both shared openly. Vulnerability always leads to connection.

In response to this, Doll remarks: “We are both very quick to action things, which can be both positive and negative in real life, but when it’s in relation to each other, it seems to work! Sometimes I’ll ask Jemimah if she’ll pray for something and she will do so in a voice note straight away.”

Friendship is defined as mutual loyalty, love, respect and trust. In 2008, a Harvard study found that having solid friendships in our lives helps to promote brain health. Having friends helps us to deal with stress, and to make better lifestyle choices that keep us strong. Friends also help us to weather lonely times, and improve the quality of our lives.

I never thought I would actually gain a friend when I moved back to the wilds of Norfolk for lockdown in 2020, with only my parents and a few cows for company. However, thanks to technology and social media, I have gained Doll – and that’s why I want to celebrate her this Galentine’s Day!

This was first published in Woman Alive magazine in December 2020.