Artificial Intelligence girlfriends could be ruining our ability to connect… this is not God’s plan

Artificial intelligence is this year’s hot button topic. I’ve been to virtually all the major Christian festivals and every single one has hosted a seminar on AI. Will ChatGPT have me out of the job? Could it have written this article better? Do we even need actors when we can make avatars of our favourites and have them perform in any way we choose? These are all questions that fill me with an impending sense of doom.

Until now, I had only thought of issues around AI relating to privacy and the value of skilled human work… but now I’m worried about dating. An article in The Guardian highlighted that hoards of lonely men are turning to AI girlfriends for comfort and that this could have dangerous consequences.

In a world of next-day delivery and instant gratification we’ve taken a short-cut to relationship.

These faux partners are powered by chatbot technology like that of Replika, an app that generates AI companions. The fear is that these compliant and doting partners are creating a new generation of “incels” who aren’t able to relate to other people well and exercise the compromise it would take to maintain a relationship with another actual human.

The incel movement is one that has risen up worryingly quickly in recent years. The term stands for “involuntarily celibate” and refers to a group who of self-identifying members of an online subculture based around the inability to find a romantic or sexual partner. The movement encourages some disturbing views around men’s entitlement to sex and how they should treat women.

Speaking in an interview, Tara Hunter, the acting CEO for the domestic violence advocacy group Full Stop Australia, said: “Creating a perfect partner that you control and meets your every need is really frightening. Given what we know already that the drivers of gender-based violence are those ingrained cultural beliefs that men can control women, that is really problematic.”

I feel desperately sad that someone would feel so isolated that they would settle for a “yes man” designed to look like a hot woman.

Replika billed their product as perfect “for anyone who wants a friend with no judgment, drama, or social anxiety involved.” But this is not how God designed us. We are made for real human interactions. The awkwardness and messiness of connecting deeply with another person is what forms our character and our empathy. In a world of next-day delivery and instant gratification we’ve taken a short-cut to relationship and settled for a heavily diluted version that will only make real interactions more difficult. Of course, we don’t want judgement or drama but in sacrificing those, we also pass up the opportunity for vital accountability – iron sharpens iron after all (Proverbs 27:17).

I feel desperately sad that someone would feel so isolated and shut off from genuine human connection that they would settle for a “yes man” designed to look like a hot woman. It’s true that relationships are hard work, but the best things in life are worth working for.

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