Are date nights the secret to a healthy Christian marriage?

Date Nights Really Work! published by the Marriage Foundation found that couples who regularly go on so-called date nights are more likely to stay together and are happier too.

As someone who is recently married, I concur that date nights are beneficial to stay connected, though for my husband and me, it works more practically as a ‘date morning’! However I suppose it is the ‘time spent’, not the time of day that is significant.

The study found: “Among couples who stayed together, date nights at any stage significantly increased the probability of reporting being very happy (rated 6-7 out of 7) when the child was aged 14.”

The Marriage Foundation report used data from The Millennium Cohort Study which tracked nearly 6,500 couples whose children were born between 2000 and 2002. Parents were first interviewed at nine months after the child’s birth, then as their children turned three, five, seven, 11 and 14, it found that those who went on date nights were between 4 – 6 per cent more likely to stay together, once all other factors were taken into account.

The study found: ’Among couples who stayed together, date nights at any stage significantly increased the probability of reporting being very happy (rated 6-7 out of 7) when the child was aged 14.

’Date nights at nine months boosted the probability of being very happy at 14 years by four per cent, at three years by 5.4 per cent, at five years by 3.7 per cent, and at seven years by 6.5 per cent. Once again, these differences were significant.’

Basically, making time for each other keeps the passion alive.

Harry Benson, Research Director for the Marriage Foundation, commented: ’I hypothesise that the act of going out together, of making time for each other whether going out for a meal, popping to the cinema or similar, reinforces the positive factors that brought the couples together in the first place. Basically, making time for each other keeps the passion alive.’

The report found that couples who were happier with their relationship soon after the child was born were also more likely to go on a subsequent date night. Seven in 10 (72 per cent) of the happiest couples whose children were three years old went on date nights compared to just ovver half (53 per cent) of the unhappiest. This figure was almost identical when the child reached five; 73 per cent of the happiest couples went on date nights compared to 56 per cent of the unhappiest.

The fact that date nights have any significant influence on subsequent relationship stability, life satisfaction and relationship happiness is remarkable. It suggests that the wide range of factors already taken into account in my analyses are missing a key ingredient that is being picked up by the act of going on a date night.

Sir Paul Coleridge, founder of Marriage Foundation said: ’By far the greatest causes of marriage collapse are boredom, inertia and disinterest. The antidote to this type of creeping termination is serious, regular investment, by both parties, of meaningful and exclusive time into maintaining the quality of your relationship, keeping the initial spark alight.

’The essence of a so called ‘date night’ is that a couple spend time together as a priority fixture in the diary and without distraction from others including children, indeed especially from children. But the good news is that children are primary beneficiaries of a parental relationship which is satisfying and fulfilling.

’Injecting time not neglecting time is key to a satisfying long term relationship.’

As Christians we need to fight for our marriages. They need time and investment, and fun, so this is your sign to book in a date night with your husband. If money is tight, maybe choose a date morning and go for a walk together, asking friends or family members to watch the children.

As far as I am concerned, and judging by this report; you won’t regret it!