After a harrowing journey through cancer, the unbearable pain of losing a child, I found strength not in my own resilience alone but in the abiding presence of Jesus

Some storms you see coming. Others arrive without warning. There’s no preparing for the moment you’re told there’s no heartbeat. Our daughter was nearly full term. I had felt every kick, dreamed about her future, and was ready to hold her. But in a quiet room, with hushed voices and stillness I’ll never forget, we were told she was gone.

There are no words that do justice to that kind of heartbreak.

There are no words that do justice to that kind of heartbreak. I went home with empty arms and a broken heart. Grief doesn’t follow rules; it just hits. I had to choose, in that place, whether I would turn away from God… or run straight into him.

I ran. Not because I was brave, but because I didn’t know what else to do. I needed somewhere to go with the pain. I ran so hard into God that I probably knocked him over!

READ MORE: I prayed that God would stop this nightmare and let my baby live

Later, life threw another storm at me. This time it was cancer. Lymphoma. A word I never expected to hear. I remember sitting there as the doctor spoke, and everything seemed to blur. It didn’t feel real.

Once again, I found myself in a place where I had to decide: would I trust God, even now?

Some days, I did. Other days, I cried, felt numb, or wrestled with the “why.” Faith doesn’t mean you always feel strong. Some days, you cling on with nothing but a whisper. But even in the hardest moments, I kept choosing him. And what’s so amazing is that I found he kept choosing me too.

I learnt to trust God again after baby loss - and you can too

Not everything was fixed. My body went through the wear and tear of treatment. I wasn’t immune to fear or pain. But I wasn’t alone. Jesus met me right there, not with instant answers, but with presence. His peace would show up when I needed it most. A verse. A person. A moment of stillness. It was never loud, but it was enough.

Pain is real. But so is hope.

And hope doesn’t always look like jumping for joy.

And hope doesn’t always look like jumping for joy. Sometimes it looks like getting out of bed, making a coffee, and saying, “God, I trust You,” even when it still hurts.

Over time, I’ve learned that healing isn’t forgetting, it’s finding strength again. It’s rediscovering joy, slowly. It’s holding both sorrow and gratitude in the same hands. And it’s realising that God never wastes the hard things. He brings beauty from them. Not always straight away, and not always how we expect, but he does.

READ MORE: Breast cancer taught me when the battle is mine and when I should surrender it to God

I don’t share my story because I’ve done everything right. I share it because I know what it is to walk through fire and still find God there.

So if you’re facing something that feels impossible, grief, illness, fear. I want to say this: You are not alone. You might feel broken. You might not know what tomorrow holds. But even now, there is hope. There is strength waiting in the presence of Jesus.

You may not feel strong today. That’s okay. Just take the next step. And know that with Jesus, you can overcome.