If you’re recently single and hitting the apps, you are going to need to decipher more than just WWJD…
Do you know what NATO dating is? Or dating ‘for the plot?’ What about breadcrumbing, ghosting, or getting yourself into a “situationship”? At the end of last year, the popular dating app Tinder released its Year in Swipe, revealing the trends and terms used by singles “splashing around the dating pool”.
So, for those of you not acclimatised with the latest in dating dialect, here’s a rundown:
N.A.T.O Dating
Unsurprisingly, this has nothing to do with the intergovernmental alliance but instead refers to ‘Not Attached To An Outcome’ dating. As the name suggests, it means worrying less about the outcome of a relationship and instead focusing on the process of getting to know someone. One psychologist said NATO dating would help you to focus “on the beauty of the present moment”, free from predefined relationship milestones.
One psychologist said NATO dating would help you to focus “on the beauty of the present moment”, free from predefined relationship milestones.
‘Dating for the plot’
‘Dating for the plot’ (DFTP) was coined by TikToker Serena Kerrigan. Like NATO dating, with a dash of Gen-Z romanticization, DFTP means being concerned about the story that’s created, and not whether things last. Dates, good and bad, simply become welcome chapters in your life story, arming you with hilarious, tragic, or uplifting dinner party tales.
Breadcrumbing
If you thought the previous two terms sounded non-committal, then let me introduce you to breadcrumbing. In essence, breadcrumbing is a way of leading someone on by feeding them with ‘crumbs’ of flirtatious but non-committal social signals; enough to keep them hooked, but never enough to mean anything serious.
According to Forbes, 76% of people have either ghosted or been ghosted.
Ghosting
According to Forbes, 76% of people have either ghosted or been ghosted. Let’s say you’re chatting to someone you met online. You decide to meet up for a drink and there’s a spark. Three dates in and a full-blown relationship is on the cards! Then, without warning, you’re met with radio silence. The person stops replying, picking up your calls, and they’ve even unfollowed your baking account on Instagram. This is the undignified act of ghosting.
I’ve only touched on a few of the latest dating trends (you can google Canon-Bailing yourself), but what they all seem to reveal is how dating has become more casual and less committed. What’s dressed up as freedom and autonomy over our romantic lives instead reveals how much we can be paralyzed by choice and tempted by the quick hit of moving from one person to the next.
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Let’s be honest, dating in the Christian world can be equally unhealthy. Instead of keeping things light, we tend to ramp up the pressure, with that first coffee trip less of a get-to-know-you exercise and more of a marriage checklist. While there’s no outright advice on dating in the bible, it does speak to how we treat others. You only need to look to the Golden Rule in Luke 6:31 ”Do to others as you would have them do to you.”. While these dating trends tend to focus on our story and taking what we want, Jesus reminds us to act with others in mind.
NATO dating is about embracing the journey without fixating on the destination. But without a destination in mind, we can end up becoming lost in the dating world. So, date with purpose, date with integrity, and date knowing that ultimately, whatever happens, Jesus has a plan for you.
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