‘I want people to forget me, but see Jesus'

JW: Your song ‘Shout to the Lord’ is 30 years old. Can you tell us what life was like for you when you wrote it?

DZ: I was 28. I had two little girls, who now have their own families. And I was singing at church, learning how to worship lead. I was quite nervous about stepping into that role. One day I was very frustrated. I think Mark and I both had such a desire to be in church ministry full time, and there was just no way that that was ever going to happen as far as we could see. We had a business and I was singing jingles. We got this horrendous bill in one day, and I just remember sitting down at the piano and literally just started singing it. You’ll find “Shout to the Lord” between Psalm 95 and Psalm 100. It just kind of weaves in and out of those scriptures. I didn’t even write it. I didn’t even play it to anybody for a while as I was not a very confident songwriter (I would probably still say the same thing now). I just held on to it. And then I said to our worship pastor and our music pastor: “I think I might have a song.” I made them stand with their backs to me. I apologised the whole way through, and by the end, Jeff Bullock, who was our worship pastor, turned around and said: “We’re doing that this weekend.”  

JW: From that, were you able to work full time for the church?

DZ: No, not for a long time. Mark’s always been a real marketplace minister. He’s such a strategist and very entrepreneurial, so he’s done a lot of things. We met in a band ministering in high schools when we were 17 and 18. We were both radically saved at 15, and 16, in very different places. Since then, we really wanted to share the gospel. 

JW: You were famous as a child in Australia weren’t you? 

DZ: I was on a kids’ TV show weekly, from when I was ten. We had to learn eight songs a week to record and film and sing. I think that was like 36 weeks of the year. I was still going to school. My parents divorced in the middle of all that. So, to be honest, the rhythm of routine gave me a little bit of stability, which I found through music. I never ever thought I’d be singing out front or anything. I love choir, I love arranging, I love everything in the background. So every week, I would go to the studio on Sunday with this group of professional singers who would do all the backing vocals for these eight songs. But actually, it gave me an amazing experience to put into practice when we started recording and producing songs. 

JW: I love that you prefer to be in the background, but God put you forward. 

DZ: I still prefer to be in the background. Worship is not a genre. I get very upset when it appears in a category of music for awards. This is a life; it’s not even a lifestyle. I think if you love the limelight, in the end worship, because of what it’s about, will not allow you to stay in that place. And that also is the grace of God. We can’t treat the glory of God with assumption or familiarity. I’ve heard it said that when man receives glory and ingests it, he will explode, because we were never built for that. We were made to reflect glory. 

Worship is not a genre

JW: And then in 2013 you found that you had breast cancer?

DZ: I’d come off staff at Hillsong, but we were still there and I was working as hard as ever. At the end of 2010 we said yes to pastoring a little church on the Central Coast, which is about an hour north of where Hillsong is. And then on 13 December 2013 I was diagnosed. I had surgery on 20 December. On Christmas Eve, I came home to prepare for chemo and radiation. The oncologist said: “You need to give us a year of your life.” 2014 was a harrowing year. 

JW: You’ve said that God met you there. Can you share how? 

DZ: The day before I went into surgery, we were doing all our Christmas things at church, and I told this beautiful woman who I trust. She handed me this book, which is now very well worn because I take it everywhere with me when I travel, and said: “Ah, that makes sense; the Lord had me write this book for you on his promises for you and how much he loves you.” 

She wrote scriptures, prophetic words and just filled it with what he kept speaking to her. There were a couple of hard days when I almost died from the chemo, not the cancer. I just fell by the side of my bed, thinking: “I can’t do this for another second.” And on the floor, God met me. He just wrapped me up in him. He coached me in breathing, telling me “breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in…” so tender and real and powerful. 

Even though I wouldn’t say I’m glad I had cancer, I wouldn’t swap those moments for anything. I’ve been off my medication now for about eight months, and every now and again, I have to go back to the cancer ward. Fear can try to grab hold, but then I just hear “breathe” from my heavenly Father. It’s taken that sting of death out for me. 

JW: There’s a break in the recording of your song ‘In Jesus’ name’ where you say: “I hate cancer”, then you sing the song over people – you did that before you got diagnosed didn’t you?

DZ: About four months later, I was diagnosed, which was, to be honest a really difficult thing. My sister-in-law and my friend in our church was battling cancer. I’d written that song with Israel Houghton for these women. Bill Johnson from Bethel was at one of our friend’s churches not far from us when I was going through treatment. I asked whether he would see me, which he did. He sat down with Mark and me for a long time and just fathered us through my fear. I said: “I’m scared to speak out, how do I lead worship now?” Bill was so beautiful, giving us scripture after scripture about declaring the goodness of God. Part of the fruit of the Spirit is you have the peace of God. Mark said: “You’re going to have to take [your thoughts] captive.” Still to this day I’m a lot more intentional about what I allow into [my mind], and that’s a gift from cancer. 

JW: How did your charity Hope: Global start?

DZ: We were actually visiting our Compassion kids in Uganda with our two eldest daughters. We went into Rwanda; we’d heard about the genocide, but we didn’t really understand it. Once we were there, we wrestled with God, saying: “We want to do something.” God spoke to my husband when we were on the plane to Nashville, as I was receiving an international award there. 

There were a couple of hard days when I almost died

He heard God saying to him: “Now that you’ve seen it, what are you gonna do about it?” Just like that. So when we got to Nashville, he started asking people: “If we step out, would you be interested in coming to serve the people there in whatever it is that God has gifted you to do? We’ll ask the people: ‘What do you need?’, and let’s serve them to that end.” So over about an 18-month period, we came up with Hope: Rwanda 100 Days of Hope. We’ve bought land there and we’re developing a training centre to train young people in ministry or as doctors, nurses – whatever they need. 

The Rwandan government allowed us to set up the curriculum for early childhood. Now they have a university, which they’d never had, and Hope: Global developed from Hope: Rwanda.

JW: Let’s talk about Testament, your new album. What’s the background to that? 

DZ: When ‘Shout to the Lord’ was turning 30 my kids said: “You should do something to commemorate that.” I started thinking about the faithfulness of God and felt this real fire in my belly to do a legacy project. I have six grandchildren now and all my kids are married. I really wanted something for them to go: “Do you know what? No matter what we’re going through, God’s faithfulness trumps all of it.” And that’s how Testament started. One of my sons-in-law, Andrew, and my daughter, Amy (his wife), wrote Testament with me. In Revelation it says “they overcame [him] by the blood of the Lamb, and [by] the word of their testimony”. I chose the album’s title, as this is the life of God in me and what he’s done in me, and no one can take that away.

JW: Hearing you speak and lead worship, it appears there is a nurturing and a mothering nature in you? 

DZ: We’re always a product of our upbringing. I yearned for family, and that’s why I loved the Church so much. When I was 15 I was renting a little room in a single mum’s house, and I walked into church. I’d been on television, so people knew me a little bit, but the music minister and the choir director just scooped me up; didn’t ask me to do a thing. They discipled me, sat me at their table, just loved me. 

It is my greatest privilege to be a mum, but in worship my heart is that I will nurture people to Christ and they won’t remember me, but they will remember the safety that a nurturer brings so that all the barriers are removed and they can see Jesus. That’s my goal. 

Darlene Zschech and her husband, Mark became senior pastors at Church Unlimited (now Hope Unlimited Church) in New South Wales in January 2011. They also started HOPE: Global, a non-profit organisation bringing hope to people through education in many countries across Africa and Asia. Find out more about Darlene and her new album at darlenezschech.com and follow her on Instagram @darlenezschech